She never wanted this. It's an awful thought to think, and one she hates herself for immediately, but she hasn't been able to get it out of her head, either. Though she did what she had to and she can't regret that, even in these past few months, she knows she hasn't wound up where she should be, going through the motions and little else, trying her best but never really feeling it. Had she been on her own from the start, this situation would have been a vastly different one already. Now, though — God, maybe she didn't want it before, but it was going to work. She and Lee were going to figure it out. On her own, it's not the same story at all.

"What if—" she starts, and then falters, though she knows that, if there's anyone who'll understand this, it's probably Katie, albeit from the other side of things. "What if I'm just not cut out for this? What if I can't do it?"