Leading up to this day, I read every single article I could find online about how the adoption process works. It's different for every country, sometimes different by state, and I wanted to make sure that I knew as much as I could so that no one would doubt whether or not I was ready to make the change. I know that today, we are only going to be signing the papers. It actually takes some time for them to get processed and finalized (I guess that's not really a surprise, because if there's anything that is consistent about governments, it is the fact that they're slower than anyone wants them to be), but no one will question if we start living per the adoption papers after today. It would be more complicated if we were strangers, if anyone was concerned that one of us might run off and do something strange before the legal rights are passed over, but that is not the case here.
Here, the two of us are friends, the two of us plan on staying in contact. And even though the lawyers already gave plenty of warnings to us about how much complication that could cause later on (they warned me especially that staying in contact might cause regrets for the birth parent), I know in my heart that nothing of that sort will happen, and I think it's a relief to the lawyers that they don't have to immediately keep an eye on us. They can trust us to do right by each other for now.
The lawyer and notary are probably both waiting in the office as we speak, though they haven't rushed us to step in at the top of the hour. I'm usually very punctual. But I guess I'm taking it slow now because it's such a big thing, becoming a parent. With my boys, I was in labor for hours for each one of them, painful hours that made everything feel so... real. This is a stranger process. It's like my heart doesn't know which direction to run.
"I'm glad that you'll be able to have your life back. Even if I wasn't going to be adopting Abigail, I always feel like... you know, you only have one life, and you need to live it the way that you want. There are plenty of people who want a child in their life, and if there weren't any, it wasn't like you were going to abandon Abigail," I point out. "You're putting your needs first, which a parent would have to be able to do anyway. If you always felt like you weren't living your life anymore... Abigail would feel that, I think." I smile. "Instead, she's going to have the best aunt ever."
I look forward again, staring at the lawyer's office door. I guess we should step inside. Some part of me wants to wait for Molly to take the first step. Give her that sense of ownership, even here.
no subject
Here, the two of us are friends, the two of us plan on staying in contact. And even though the lawyers already gave plenty of warnings to us about how much complication that could cause later on (they warned me especially that staying in contact might cause regrets for the birth parent), I know in my heart that nothing of that sort will happen, and I think it's a relief to the lawyers that they don't have to immediately keep an eye on us. They can trust us to do right by each other for now.
The lawyer and notary are probably both waiting in the office as we speak, though they haven't rushed us to step in at the top of the hour. I'm usually very punctual. But I guess I'm taking it slow now because it's such a big thing, becoming a parent. With my boys, I was in labor for hours for each one of them, painful hours that made everything feel so... real. This is a stranger process. It's like my heart doesn't know which direction to run.
"I'm glad that you'll be able to have your life back. Even if I wasn't going to be adopting Abigail, I always feel like... you know, you only have one life, and you need to live it the way that you want. There are plenty of people who want a child in their life, and if there weren't any, it wasn't like you were going to abandon Abigail," I point out. "You're putting your needs first, which a parent would have to be able to do anyway. If you always felt like you weren't living your life anymore... Abigail would feel that, I think." I smile. "Instead, she's going to have the best aunt ever."
I look forward again, staring at the lawyer's office door. I guess we should step inside. Some part of me wants to wait for Molly to take the first step. Give her that sense of ownership, even here.