Molly Stearns (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
losttheright) wrote2017-07-30 12:56 am
losttheright) wrote2017-07-30 12:56 am
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She's been tired for goddamn months. Maybe longer, even, since she first found out she was pregnant a year and a half ago and her boyfriend walked out on her upon hearing the news. Lately, though, the exhaustion is something she can't shake, this holding pattern one she needs to break out of before she loses her mind even more than she already has. She's met with a lawyer, she's started taking steps, but it still seems like there's so much to take care of, an unending stream of shit to deal with. Deep down, a part of her knows that, in focusing so much on everything else, she's ignoring herself and what she's suspected has been the case for a long time. She hasn't felt right since Abigail was born, and the more time passes, the more apparent it becomes that this isn't something that's going away. With everything else in front of her, though, she tells herself that she doesn't have time to deal with it, that any of that can wait until she's at least officially started the ball rolling on the adoption process and found herself a new apartment and moved her things out of the place she still thinks of as Lee's.
Instead, she tries with all she can to find ways to feel like herself again, even if only temporarily, even if she knows she's faking it. She's always been good at that, pretending she's alright when she isn't, compartmentalizing because it's the only way to keep going. It let her keep working on Morris's campaign, and she would have been fine if Stephen hadn't picked up the wrong fucking phone that night. It's what's going to get her through now, too, though the circumstances are wildly different from when she was a twenty-year-old who made one bad mistake.
The days that are quiet, that she doesn't have to go into work, are the harder ones to get through. The weather doesn't help, too hot and sticky for her to wear clothing that covers the scars on her chest and arms. Heat or not, though, Molly has no qualms about admitting to herself that she needs her caffeine fix, relying on it these days more than ever. The coffee shop she ducks into is one she's long since favored, and she orders her latte with two extra shots and finds a table to sit at for a while, breathing in deep while she waits for it to cool.
She's a few sips in when she spots someone she's met, smiling a little for it. It is, if nothing else, a reason to pull herself together. "Hi," she says, warm, casually friendly. "Angela? We met at that exhibit opening, I think."
Instead, she tries with all she can to find ways to feel like herself again, even if only temporarily, even if she knows she's faking it. She's always been good at that, pretending she's alright when she isn't, compartmentalizing because it's the only way to keep going. It let her keep working on Morris's campaign, and she would have been fine if Stephen hadn't picked up the wrong fucking phone that night. It's what's going to get her through now, too, though the circumstances are wildly different from when she was a twenty-year-old who made one bad mistake.
The days that are quiet, that she doesn't have to go into work, are the harder ones to get through. The weather doesn't help, too hot and sticky for her to wear clothing that covers the scars on her chest and arms. Heat or not, though, Molly has no qualms about admitting to herself that she needs her caffeine fix, relying on it these days more than ever. The coffee shop she ducks into is one she's long since favored, and she orders her latte with two extra shots and finds a table to sit at for a while, breathing in deep while she waits for it to cool.
She's a few sips in when she spots someone she's met, smiling a little for it. It is, if nothing else, a reason to pull herself together. "Hi," she says, warm, casually friendly. "Angela? We met at that exhibit opening, I think."
no subject
She doesn't mind talking about it, really. Everything will be settled sooner or later, and she'll have to be able to then, anyway; it isn't like it won't be a noticeable change. Bringing up the fact that she's arranging an adoption just after Angela has talked about being so happy to see her daughter seems like it at least has the potential to be awkward, though, so she decides it can wait, if it's something to talk about at all.
"And no, I don't mind you asking at all. I'm the deputy communications director, so... I had the very, very fun job of handling a lot of the fallout from the Hatchimals incident. People tend not to like it when their toys go on murderous rampages."