losttheright | (no subject)

In retrospect, maybe she should have seen this coming.

For a couple of weeks now, Molly has been helping to draft statements about this string of disappearances, people vanishing and returning days later with stories about some alternate, fucked up version of Darrow. The story is largely the same as it was when the same thing happened a few years ago: a roundabout way of saying that they have no fucking idea what's going on, and that people shouldn't panic about something that absolutely merits panicking. At least, that's how she sees it, but she remembers not long after people started turning up in this place, when the whole city was like that and she nearly died trying to get to one of the churches. She remembers, too, the shape Russell had been in when he got back the last time this happened. The fact that, once again, it's apparently temporary is a small comfort, but the idea of it happening at all is still terrifying, and so she mostly doesn't think about it. Outside of the context of work, it isn't worth it, nothing that's affected her yet, nothing that she has any reason to think will do so.

The latter is clearly where she's mistaken. Not giving it any more thought than she has to has helped insofar as making sure she doesn't freak out about it, but it means that when she steps out of City Hall in the evening to find the world changed in a way that's uncomfortably familiar, she doesn't know what to do with it. All she can do is stand there for a moment, trying to force herself to breathe, difficult as it is with the ash in the air and when she's so fucking terrified. She could have prepared herself for this, at least to an extent, but she didn't. None of the official statements issued by City Hall could really have driven home what it would be like to find herself here, with the knowledge that, when it finishes getting dark, she'll really be in trouble, at least if what happened before is any way to judge. She might be a little more capable now than she was three and a half years ago, but that's only saying so much. It's certainly not enough for her to want to take any chances.

Tempting as it is to stay there and shut down and start to cry, she knows she'll only be worse off if she does that. Instead, she tries to think through things she can use to try to keep herself grounded — that she's lived through this or something like it before, that she's lived through what she would describe as worse, that it is, by all accounts, something that should only last a few days. That, and that there's still a little bit of time left before the sun has set and she's screwed.

It's with the latter in mind that she finally heads away from City Hall, in the direction of the nearest church. From here, it's a bit of a walk, straight through the park to the other side of the city, and she probably won't be able to stay there for too long, but she might at least have a chance to pull herself together and possibly get some sleep tonight before dealing with this head-on. Right now, she barely feels like she can deal with it at all.

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If it was another day, she wouldn't turn her back on a man that could be a cylon.

If it was another lifetime, she'd argue with him about taking point.

It's neither. It's now, and Kara's shellshocked enough that her eyes sweep past Lee into the darkness and she thinks she can see more of him - as ridiculous as that sentence is, there's more of him, and she can't even bring herself to care.

She doesn't see a gun in their hands, so she turns to move in front of Molly, to get the door open and make sure that she's safe because she's on autopilot and Molly's the civilian.

"Clear," Her eyes sweep the church, the words coming from her lips before she even mentally processes that there aren't threats on the other side.

There are a million things Molly wants to do or say when Lee tells her and Kara to go on ahead, and she can't bring herself to do a single one of them. After all, she can't even be entirely certain that this really is Lee, her Lee, the one she's built a life with here. She wants to wrap her arms around him anyway, to tell him to be careful, to stay by his side in spite of the obvious danger out here. Instead, she gets to the door of the church as quickly as she can, her chest tight, air barely making it into her lungs.

She hadn't expected anything else, knowing how this place works, but it's still a relief when Kara says the inside is clear. Just how long they'll be able to stay here, she doesn't know, but at least they'll have a safe place to regroup, to figure out what they do next. Perhaps even more importantly, they have a way to determine that this Lee really is who he says he is. After everything that happened earlier, all that shit some part of her is still reeling from — she put herself in front of a loaded gun for him, and that's not something easily forgotten, even if she's pushed it aside for now — any lack of certainty would only make things worse.

Instead of making her way further inside, she hangs back by the doorway, her eyes not leaving Lee. Part of it is wanting to make sure he's alright, that he doesn't get hurt between the sidewalk and the church door. The other part of it is painful anticipation, with her desperate to be sure if this is really him or not. And, awful as she feels for it, there's some small piece of her that doesn't think she should look away, just in case it actually is all a lie.

"Come on," she says under her breath, one hand braced against the door frame, foot tapping impatiently on the tile floor. "Come on, come on."

He hears Kara at his back, calling out that the coast is clear. A the very least, he knows that means Molly is safe. And while Kara doesn't trust him right now, he knows that she won't let that get in the way of making sure Molly is safe. It's reassuring enough that he can focus when he sees his own face at his four o'clock, lifting a gun, and he doesn't hesitate before taking it out, even as he starts to back his way across the street.

There's a moment, before he enters, where he wonders what it was like for Sharon, right before she shot the Old Man. She didn't know she was a toaster, so who was to say that it wasn't the same for him? Maybe, like Molly said, he won't be able to go inside. At least, if that's the case, he knows Kara will make it quick. Thank the gods for small favors.

"Entrance is clear," Lee says, and, to his relief, he backs over the threshold and into the church.

Lee walks into the church, and Kara doesn't know how much she believes that if he was a Cylon, he wouldn't be able to cross the doorway. She's not really examining it; there's monsters outside, the church is clear, so getting them in the church is the first priority.

It's all she's got. She's fallen back on her training, because otherwise there's facing what she's done, and it's not something she can do. Once they're inside and the door's shut behind them, she scans the room, even as the other refugees stare at all three of them. Holstering her gun, Kara looks back at Molly and Lee, and runs a hand down her face, moving down to sit in an empty pew, her eyes tired and empty, her hand slipping in her pocket to feel the sticky dogtags there.

Lee steps inside, and Molly lets out a breath she hadn't realized she was holding, a hand pressing to her mouth to stifle what might well be a sob. She'd thought it was him, she'd hoped, but she'd been wrong once before, too, and knowing for sure now makes all the difference in the fucking world. So, for that matter, does having gotten somewhere safe. She'd kept it together out of necessity when they were still outside, but now that that isn't an issue, she's not sure she can. With everything that's happened since she first walked out of City Hall and found herself here, there's no possible way for her to really be alright now, not with everything hitting her all at once.

Even just staying on her feet feels, suddenly, remarkably difficult, but she moves towards Lee, resting a hand against his arm. "Hey," she says quietly. "I'm... glad you're okay." That barely begins to cover it, but she isn't quite sure what else to say, especially after what happened earlier and the enormity of that, something she can barely wrap her head around. She loves him, of course she does, but she isn't sure that she'd realized just how much until she stepped in front of a loaded gun for him. That in itself is as terrifying as all the rest of it.